A TRIALS RIDER’S GLOSSARY.
WITH the termination of one trials season, and with the imminent approach of yet another, due to the unrelenting reliability of the export department of Anno Domini Ltd., we have engaged the services of a contributor who has consented to set out a clear and concise glossary of terms relative to trials work. This has been done especially for the benefit of those who, through no fault of their own, are novices.
Competitors whose successes are immediately or even indirectly attributable to this costly work of classification, are asked not to divulge the source of their information to the Executive of the M.C.C., as” MOTOR SPORT” has no wish to be sued for the cost of 50% of the awards won in the 1927 “Land’s End.” [EDIToR].
,Careful perusal of the appended information will not only bring home to the uninitiated the fact that trials riding presents hitherto unforeseen difficulties, but it will, it is hoped, show them that, in spite of their newlyacquired knowledge, trials are not items to be considered in a frivolous manner. Forewarned may be forearmed, but the enlightened are often light-headed. And so to more serious matters : ACCELERATION :—The speed at which the speed of a vehicle gathering speed is changed from one speed to a different speed. (I trust I make myself sufficiently clear.) This has to be seen to be believed (always !)
ALMS :—That which is presented to a competitor at the end of the International Six Days Trial.
ANVIL-CHORUS :—The invisible singers who come all unbidden to cheer us on our upward way.
ARRow :—A device by which mischievous villagers tempt trials competitors to leave the narrow way to glory, and to find contentment in the great open spaces.
AVERAGE SPEED :—The speed at which a motorist might have covered a given distance, if he had done it in a certain time, Being merely an exercise in mathematics, this has no bearing whatever on actual facts. BERET (Berray) :—A headgear effected by a large number of gentlemen who own motor-cycles, and by a few motor-cyclists. (Not really necessary in England, as our climate affords us very few chances of Basquing.)
BOTTOM-GEAR :—The gear we never need to use except when we are being observed.
BRAKE :—The means by which a vehicle may be stopped intentionally. It is usually pedal operated. N.B.Car drivers will note about three pedals in close proximity. Care should be taken to select the correct pedal in moments of stress. BRAKE-TEST :—A low plot by which trials organisers contrive to cause motor-cyclists to emulate the
CAM :—A metal egg which oscillates under the tappets and causes them to come unadjusted. CAMBERLEY :—The testing ground for antediluvian mammoth vehicles. Now used for switch-back
trials, and for testing flying motor-cycles (per force of circumstances only). You are warned that in these events your crown lands on Crown Lands (frequently).
CARBURETTOR :—An instrument wherein the petrol is aired to ensure its being dry when it enters the cylinders.
CLUTCH :—A transformer for converting transmission from negative to positive.
COLONIAL SECTION :—An honest endeavour on the part of trials organisers to prevent competitors from exceeding the legal limit.
DYE :—The means by which a trials rider knows where another club is holding its trial. EDINBURGH :—For some obscure reason, the mecca of motorists at Whitsuntide. (Noted for whisky.)
GEAR-LEVER :—A rod by which motor-cyclists strike gears. (Good—ED.). When the gears strike on their own account, the lever becomes a snag detrimental to the clothing of unshipped trials riders.
HILL :—Many contours in close proximity. Such a gradient as shall demand the use of a lower gear.
IGNITION :—See “Magneto.”
LAMP :—A device for indicating the presence of a machine in darkness. Most necessary to entrants of super sporting winter trials.
LANGUAGE :—A complete glossary of appropriate language for trials entrants is impossible here, owing to the limitations of available space, but I shall be happy to forward to all applicants a complete list of hitherto unpublished expressions of annoyance, contempt, agony, loathing and thirst. The exact circumstances demanding the use of each specified expletive are tabulated in this useful work so that the user of them may know that he is saying quite the correct thing. Specimens of the phrases treated with in this valuable docu.emnt are :—Odds Forks and Flanges.—By the A.B.C.—How the Handlebars can I, etc.—These are necessarily among the milder expressions, but the remainder will be sent in plain envelopes to all sending a donation of 6d. to the Home for Tired and Tongue-tied Trials Riders, on or after Good Friday, 1927.
MAGNETO :—See ” Ignition.”
MEAN SPEED :—A blind indulged in when Robert’s back is turned.
OBSERVED SECTIONS :—Those portions of a trial course to which the organisers go in order to langh at the competitors in their agonies.
PASSENGER :—An acrobat and strong man who pulls, pushes, carries, or holds down the car or side-car in the worst portions of a sporting trial.
PORT :—(1) A door by which the mixture enters and/or leaves the combustion chamber. (2) An item highup in the list of needs of a competitor at the conclusion of a winter trial.
PILLioN-Rmixo :—An offence against the bye-laws of a certain section of the very lay Press. SIDECAR near-side chariot attached to a motor-cycle
for the conveying of one or more persons from here to there, in either direction.
SILENCER :—A device attached to a car or motor-cycle for keeping the man in blue quiet. Looks more efficient when connected to the exhaust pipe.
TAPPETS :—The medium through which the thrust is transmitted from the cams (see ” Cams “) to the valve-stems or push-rods. Two-stroke riders are not supplied with these useful components, but any reliable garage will fit them for a consideration.
*TtiRorri,li :—The fear of death by such an action on the part of an irate competitor causes the chief organiser to receive an urgent telephone call a few minutes before the first man is due at the finish.
WATERSPLASH :—A contest of wading and allied aquatic sports arranged for the diversion of bored trials riders. *Too late for inclusion in the above tabulated form, I have succeeded in ascertaining the following piece of information :—
THROTTLB :—(2) A means of controlling the strength or weakness of the mixture distilled in the carburettor (see above) and thus the speed of the machine.
Having steeped himself in the above information, the Trials aspirant will fully realise the conditions under which he will have to perform. All that, then, remains is the selection of a suitable machine. On no account should the novice take the advice of one man only in this respect. He will merely tell you all about his own machine. Wireless enthusiasts have a delightful phrase to describe this phenomenon. They call it” grid bias.” The main considerations in making a choice are : —
(a) Size of rider.
(b) Size of rider’s pocket.
(c) Proximity of rider’s residence to spares agency.
Item (b) may, of course, prevent the prospective purchaser from buying the machine which approximates to his ideal. He should not be put off by this, however, but must obtain such a mount as will most nearly conform to his pocket and his perfect motor ; bearing in mind that a moiety of a half-quartern has a distinct arid universally acknowledged advantage over a complete lack of the staff of life.
All things considered, I flatter myself that there will be a large increase in the percentage of first-class awards won in trials in the 1927 season.
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