The Forth Bridge.

I really do believe you when you tell us just once more,
of the pleasure and contentment you derive from your Plus Four.
Read up all your comments when you take a car on test,
For you do not pull your punches, should it not be of the best!
You give every indication of an earnest, honest man,
yet you, too, can be awkward, ref.—the recent "Bishop Ban."
You have done your share of motoring in Nineteen Fifty-Four
and may you still continue to "drive on" more and more.
But when it comes to Scotland one thing I have to say,
" When you're standing at the Forth Bridge
You are nowhere near the Tay!"
So please amend page sixty—this favour I must ask it,
For every Scottish reader must, perforce, have blown his gasket!

I am, Yours, etc.,

Glasgow. J. R. B. Mackie.

[We are temporarily out of stock of sackcloth, but we will apply a liberal quantity of ashes I—Ed.]