Rapiers — Sharp and Blunt

We are not certain whether we should adopt a note of stuffy indignation or one of ribald hilarity — we are sure, however, that we have been shocked out of our normal complacency by the announcement appearing in the national dailies.

We have, Sir, made a searching and protracted study of Rapiers — it was, in fact, with this object in mind that our organisation was founded — and the results of our research tell us that a Rapier should have a high-efliciency twin-overhead-camshaft engine capable of being developed considerably further, it should have brakes of enormous stopping power, accurate fingertip steering, no understeer, no oversteer, centre-lock wire wheels, bucket-seats for the driver and passenger, and a shockingly hard ride up to 40 m.p.h., but delightfully smooth and stable thereafter. It should go where it is pointed without any argument or protest from its tyres, and should perform at all times in an honest and willing manner.

The foregoing will undoubtedly give rise to some confusion in the minds of some of your readers, and the regularisation of this state of affairs is the object of our letter.

We cater for the Lagonda Rapier and Rapier, and regret that we are unable to be of technical assistance to, nor do we propose compiling a Register of, any other model bearing a similar name.

I am, Yours, etc.,
G. D. Speight,
Hon. Secretary, Rapier Register.