Bentley Spring Song

Sing hey ninny nannet and up with the bonnet 
Once more of my four and a half,
With bearings post praying and drain-tubes decaying,
If the sun shone I woodenarflarf.

While others go courting, I track down the shorting
Between dynamo, cut-out and switch ;
No one else’s drop-arm ever causes alarm,
Whereas mine lands me bang in the ditch.

The rad.’s riddled with leaks, I’ve a brake-drum that shrieks,
The pump and the water-plates ooze,
I’ve no date with a popsy, the sump’s full of dropsy.
And some oil’s got in one of my shoes.

My funny-bone’s numb and busted my thumb
And cracked glasses in both of my lamps,
The rev.-counter’s gone sour and gives miles an hour.
While the oil gauge is reading in amps.

Let other blokes chatter at Noggin and Natter,
Admiring the motors they drive ;
Under floorboards I squirm like an oversize worm
And am lucky to come out alive.

A chap didn’t oughter flaunt four ond a quarter
Fat litres of polish and pelf, 
And smoke a cigar while he props up the bar,
When I barely can prop up myself.

Sing hey for the springtime, for new piston-ring time,
“D” boxes and poppets and fun ;
While you flirt with the breeze, I’ll be down on my knees
With a five twenty-five twenty-one.

W. C.