Did F1 grid's hot air prevent a decent race? Up and down at Spain '23

Even the Catalunyan clouds were a let-down.

As everyone hopefully looked up to survey a sight of cumulus constipation, any slight precipitation wouldn’t have stood a chance anyway – the warm glow of Flavio Briatore’s fake tan engulfing the grid would have soon seen to that, raising the air temperature by several degrees.

The competition to the currently peerless Max Verstappen and Red Bull was tepid on its own, never mind in comparison.

Mercedes’ upgrade seems to have done a job, yet it still might as well be racing in the previous century, while Ferrari appears to have found a new gear: reverse x 2.

Stewards penalise slight skirmishes yet let dangerous moves slide, ever consistently inconsistent.

Rejoice one and all, the excitement of 2021 was just a brief sidetrack: we’re back to the good old bad days of F1 we all know and begrudgingly love.

Here’s what was up and even further down at the 2023 Spanish GP.

Goin’ down

Scuderia on the slide (we mean more of a slide, even more this time)

Similar to it being stated 30 years ago that Ferrari had just sacked the one person (Alain Prost) that could have gotten it out of the merde, history has repeated itself.

The genius of former boss Mattia Binotto had helped lead his troops not once but twice in making Ferrari winners over the last few years and so, perhaps not surprisingly, the Scuderia firing its tech-minded leader – and his loyal foot soldiers began leaving in sympathy – means the Scuds now appear to be going nowhere.

Leclerc looks somewhat disenchanted to say the least.

Irreconcilable inconsistency

Yuki Tsunoda held on for grim life to try and secure at least a point for AlphaTauri in Spain, yet was penalised by stewards and dropped to 11th for some robust defence, as Zhou Guanyu attempted to drive into an ever-closing gap and then claim he was “pushed off”.

Meanwhile, Esteban Ocon then nearly ran his old stablemate Fernando Alonso off the road at 200mph, and nothing was said. Bizarre.

Grasping at Workday-branded Aramco-produced straws

Crofty described the possibility of something interesting happening in Spain as our “Hope of the Moment”, apparently an add-on to the Sky Glass app and the Battle Channel. Not sure if you’ve heard about those yet.

Lord Pastor Maldonado help us.

No rain, yes sweat

So desperate was he for something to happen, Formula Partridge himself (George Russell) mistook sweat on his visor for rain. We can relate on all levels to be fair.

Goin’ Up

Hollywood Gold

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones’ remarkably earnest tribute to the commentating abilities of Martin Brundle during his grid-walk was possibly the one good bit of the Spanish GP weekend.

At least one part of Hollywood knows.

Lance’s lightning start

The younger Stroll has cut a slightly beleaguered figure this year as a team-mate twice his age has both soaked up the plaudits and wiped the floor with his employer’s son.

On the first lap in Spain though, Stroll leapt from fifth to third with a lovely bit of driving round the outside of Lewis Hamilton.

Go on Guenther

Guenther Steiner did the rare thing in Monaco of someone from the paddock actually giving his unfiltered opinion – though the slightly scary Haas team boss is probably the exception to the rule.

After airing the pretty mild view that stewards should be full-time members of staff instead of a rotating cast of part-timers, the Gene Haas’s footman was summoned to the over-sensitive FIA.

Go on Guenther, give it to ‘em.

Interesting take

Lando Norris’s brilliant P3 qualifying lap brought about the most bemused radio reaction of the season from a driver.

“Interesting,” was his take on scorching effort. All went a bit south thereafter though, unfortunately.